Destiny

How do you describe Destiny? Is it real? Is it something that can be pinpointed or does it need to be completely interpreted in a different way? Ask me if I believe in Destiny? Hell yea I do. I believe in a greater power than us giving a new perspective on life and a way to turn our lives around. Destiny is not always good. It's not always bad. It's just something that gives us the opportunity to understand that we are living for something. That we do have a purpose. That we are meant for much greater than we give ourselves credit for.

Destiny took me by surprise recently. It shook the ground I stand on. It rocked my world. It gave me tears of joy, and tears of sadness. It picked me up when I was down, and brought me down when things were going uphill. We cannot exactly think of destiny as a blessing. Instead, let's think of Destiny as an obstacle. Something we must overcome. We have to make our own Destiny. Is it our Destiny to meet someone, or is it up to us to decide what to do after we meet that someone? Will it just fall through our grasp if we leave it alone, or will Destiny bring it back at the right moment? All these things have crossed my mind lately. I mean if it didn't I wouldn't have to share this with all of you.

I look back at the last 10 days of my life and reminisce on what has happened to me. I used to be the shy guy who would hate to be recognized in front of big groups. Yet on the cruise I went on I stood out like a soar thumb at a dance contest and everyone knew me since. I used to have a fear of rejection. Yet again I managed to approach an individual without any fear, and came out winning in the process. I used to have a huge fear of death. Yet seeing so many people around me a lot closer to death than myself I simply feel blessed to be alive. Was it my Destiny to see all these things so recently? To understand why I am Destined for more? Why I am worried about my future and not being adequate enough for anyone including myself? I'm not sure.

Steering away from the topic of Destiny a little something is on my mind lately. Someone. A person who does not need any introduction. Doesn't need to be commented on. Doesn't even need to know it's them yet she does. I am alive again. Everyone knows the struggles I have been through. From the suicidal thoughts, to the attempts to runaway, to the sicknesses plaguing my family, and even the economic burden I have placed myself under. Then she comes along. Not a clue what happened to me. No way to explain how I feel lately.

I feel at ease. I feel a sense of comfort. I feel like I belong, and I feel like I want more than what I have right now more than ever. I'm tired of living the life where I am still under a parents roof. Where the car payment, and my bills are all I have money for. Where waking up to a stressed out world just ripped my heart out. I want a miracle. I want something I have no control over. I can't travel 2,400 miles to start over because my life has just begun to start over with this great job I just got. I can't tell you guys that I am in the best position ever but it is pretty damn close. Now what? What am I supposed to do? Absolutely nothing.

For the first time in my life I understand what I am supposed to do. Someone told me that things are out of my control and they are right. Destiny is what is guiding me right now. I made my decisions. I know what I want, and I know how to get it. If destiny brings me sadness so be it. If it brings me my wish which I made 4 times in the past week then I am blessed too. Either way I am just grateful that I have had the experience of a lifetime, and one of the greatest life changing experiences in my life.

"We cannot forget where we come from, we can only hope we can go on from there".

Destiny. So strong a word yet so weak in its character. We cannot foresee the future and quite frankly I don't want to. But I do know this much. If I was given the opportunity to turn my life around...guess what? I would travel 4,800 miles if I had to just to bring it back with me. Thanks for reading.